By the way, I won't be using the actual character names, because screw that, so here's a quick key.
Simon = Charlie
Mark = Drunk Cop
Olivia = Penelope
Demetri = Asian Cop
Lloyd = Affair Guy (He isn't in this one though.)
Janis = Lesbian cop
Charlie = Little Girl
Warning, spoilers follow.
The episode began with the team finally going off to Somalia, accompanied by some guys who could only be more obvious that they are going to die if they were wearing red shirts and talking about how they were retiring next week. As they land, Charlie starts commenting on how it's not so bad here (because he's apparantly an idiot.) and so they of course, are fired at, and some of the redshirts die. We get introduced to Scar, Simba's uncle, and warlord of Somalia.
They get taken hostage because he's not buying the whole "HURR HURR HUMANITARIAN HURR" act. After a few more redshirts bite the dust one guy randomly pukes (?) and says that they're CIA, even though they're FBI, which I didn't really understand. I mean, isn't saying they're CIA going to get them into more trouble?
Apparently yes, because Scar says he want's like, a bajillion tanks, planes, guns, etc. or he won't let them go. His vision was giving a speech as the "new face of Somalia" finally ending the civil war/chaos that's going on there. He mentions better angels, and lesbian cop figures out that he was giving a speech about peace not murdering.
She gets him to log onto mosaic, because apparently they have internet there. And he sees that there is things confirming that he was in fact quoting Lincoln, so he's like, a good guy now and stuff.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, drunk cop and Penelope are trying to get little girl to tell them what she saw. Also they might move. Or not. Or something. I don't really care.
The point is... She really didn't see anything having to do with "D. Gibbons is a bad man.", that was something the autistic kid wrote with magnets on the fridge. Also her dad is dead apparently.
At the hospital, the guy with cancer who I actually kind of like tells some chick that he changed his name because he needed a better doctor name.
Back in Somalia, all the redshirts are dead so we can finally go into the tower. Inside they find a chess piece, and a VHS tape (this was abandoned in '91.) with interviews from people in the village, and D. Gibbons on the tape explaining that this was in Charlie's words "A beta test for the blackout." So they finally figured out something I figured out back when we found out all the crows died in Somalia in '91? Good detective work guys.
They cop who's name I don't know and care so little about I don't even give him a fake name tells Scar, the warlord who HAS A GUN AND CAN KILL THEM AT ANY MOMENT, that god is a lie and only the power of SCIENNNNCE can cause blackouts. Which seemed like a bad idea to me, but whatever.
They find a generator, and Charlie explains that it would take 5 of them back in '91 to power the local blackout, when Asian Cop asks how just one could cause the global blackout Charlie yells at him that rules don't apply any more (SCREW THE RULES I HAVE TECHNOLOGY!), which I didn't understand. When did we find out only one generator powered the blackout?
Finally, they go into the final room and find that *GASP* EVERYONE IN THE VILLAGE WAS MURDERED TO DEATH!!!!111one!!! Scar goes berserk on Charlie and almost kills him, when captain generic shoots him in the back. Good job prolonging a civil war for another few years. Shooting him in the arm would have been to logical right?
Back in the village, everyone is tired, and Asian Cop and Lesbian Cop have a VERY SERIOUS DISCUSSION about how she can't have her baby now, because she would have to conceive at that very moment. Asian Cop offers his services, and when Lesbian Cop asks about his, y'know, fiance, he replies with something just short of "She don't need to know 'bout this baby, life is short, I'll be dead soon, let's make some sweet Somalian lovin'." Fade to black. I'm still not sure what just happened.
Later, Captain Generic meets Asian Cop in the tower again, watching the VHS because he couldn't sleep "among other things". Suddenly, the tape stops being static and reveals one of those hidden tracks like bands sometimes put on albums. D. Gibbons is all like "Yo' Demetri! Yeah, you! I'm talking to you! The past here! I got your attention?!"
Fin.
Wait, what? Why did Gibbons hide a message for Demetri on the VHS? How did he know to? Why did the cops stop watching the tape after 2 seconds of static the first time? (No seriously, the message was no more than 30 seconds after the static began.)
Questions:
Did Asian Cop and Lesbian Cop make a baby, and will Asian Cop end up being murdered by his fiance when she finds out?
Was "D. Gibbons is a bad man" the MOST anti-climactic reveal ever?
What does D. Gibbons have to say to Demetri that's so important he would hide something on a VHS from '91?
Will I ever get the character names right?!
Tune in next week to see Drunk Cop be very angsty.
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