"Never Say Never" was written for the 2010 version of "The Karate Kid", a phenomenal movie you should absolutely go see, despite the fact that it has nothing whatsoever to do with karate.
Also, this song, which played over the credits, was the worst part of the film.
And because I'm a sucker for punishment, let's dive right in to, "Never Say Never"
"See I never thought that I could walk through fire/I never thought that I could take the burn"
Buffy did it better.
"I never had the strength to take it higher/Until I reached the point of no return"
Oh good, this one's going to actually rhyme.
"And there's just no turning back/When your heart's under attack"
Hmm, pro tip, when you're writing a motivational song, try not to group the words "Heart" and "Attack" near each other. It's depressing.
"Gonna give everything I have/It's my destiny!"
"I'M JUSTIN FREAKIN'-" Oh forget it.
"I will never say never/I will fight 'till forever"
But MAN, once forever hits, he's OUT of here.
"Whenever you knock me down/I'll never stay on the ground/Pick it up/Pick it up/Pick it up, up, up, up, up"
Please don't waste my time, time, time, time- ...Oh sorry, wrong song.
"Never say never (x3)"
You know, for a song about not saying never, they just say it a lot.
"I never thought that I could face this power/I never thought that I could feel this free
FREE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MEEEEEEEEE... Crap, wrong song again.
"I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower/And I'm fast enough to run across the sea"
Hm... A version of The Flash with Justin Bieber instead of Barry Allen... Ehhhh, no thank you.
(Pre-Chorus) (Chorus) (That part with the pick it ups)
And then we get Justin Bieber and Jaeden Smith rapping. Joy.
"(Smith)Here we go!/Guess who?"
Hmmmmm, is it... Batman?!
"(Bieber)J. Smith and J. B."
Awww...
"I gotcha lil' bro"
That sounds dumb. Don't say that.
"(Smith)I can handle him"
Yeah, this is playing over the credits after all, didn't you watch the movie?!
"Well he's bigger than me/And stronger than me/And older than me/And taller than me/And his arm's a little bit longer than me"
Ok, I actually find that last line hysterical, only because... Have you seen Jaden Smith? The kid's tiny.
"But he ain't on a J.B. song wit' me!"
I'm sure that probably made someone jealous. Somewhere. That person is a girl.
"I be tryin' a chill/They be tryin' to side with the thrill"
Ok, can SOMEONE please tell me what "siding with the thrill" means? Because I have no clue. At all.
"No pun intended/Was raised by the power of Will"
Liar. That pun was totally intended.
"Like Luke with the force/If push comes to shove/Like Cobe in the 4th/Ice water with blood"
I'm sure that reference made sense to someone, somewhere.
"I gotta be the best/And yes we're the flyest"
Folks, I'd like to make a joke out of that, but honestly? There's nothing I can say to make that funnier. What is there to say about the term "Flyest" appearing in a Justin Bieber song? Nothing. That's what.
So really, all I can provide is this:
"Like David and Goliath/I conquered the giant"
Actually kid, he was pretty average size, you're just tiny.
"So now I got the world in my hand/I was born from two stars/So the moon's where I land"
OK JADEN WE GET IT YOUR PARENTS ARE FAMOUS! LET IT GO!
(Pre-Chorus) (Chorus) (Pre-Chorus Again?) (Never Say Never x3)
Aaaaand we're done. Ok. Well, the lyrics are cheese filled and CERTAINLY not "epic". The lyrics Justin Bieber was actually singing were awful, but that one line Jaden sung did get a pretty good chuckle out of me. I'd rate this above "Somebody to Love" or "One Less Lonely Girl" certainly, somewhere alongside "Baby" and "Eenie Meenie" in the land of being merely awful.
Next up... I don't actually know. I think I've covered his big 5 hits. I suppose I'll have to look through his discography, or find another singer to cover. Ah well, I'll figure something out.
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