Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lyrical Analysis - Miley Cyrus' "The Climb"

Hello and welcome to Lyrical Analysis, where I'm incredibly bored.

Oh, hello again Miley Cyrus, how are YOU doing?

This song may not be the worst song I've spoken about here, but it's certainly more difficult to explain why this song is terrible over several others. Let me explain. This song isn't as bad as, for example, "My First Kiss", but this is an entirely different kind of bad. At least with songs like "My First Kiss" I get an emotional response when listening to them. Anger. This song though... Gah... This song is... It's BORING. BORING BORING BORING BORING. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Seriously. This song is an "inspirational" song by Miley Cyrus. And I use the term "inspirational" loosely, since the only thing this song inspires ME to do is take a nice long nap. It was featured in the Hannah Montana movie and... It's stupid. Stupid, and boring.

But what makes this song so awful? Y'know, I mean aside from the music, singing, theme, and motivation behind the song. Why the lyrics of course! So enough talking about much more interesting things, let's examine the terrible TERRIBLE lyrics of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb"

"I can almost see it/The dream I'm dreaming"

This sounds inspirational until you realize her dream is to be the next Britney Spears.

"But, there's a voice inside my head saying/You'll never reach it"

I'mmah stop you right here. Miley, you're a celebrity, ok? You have buckets of money, dozens of songs, a hit TV show... You've reached the dream. Ok? You've reached it. Now can you please tell YOUR success story to the people to make them inspired? Oh that's right, you can't. You know why? Your success story sucks.

Here's her success story, her father was a crappy singer and a crappier actor. Then she became a less crappy singer and a less crappy actor, though still being crappy.

I smell inspiration!

"Every move I'm makin'/Every step I'm takin' feels/Lost with no direction"

Oh, I didn't realize this was a song about the writing of "7 Things".

"My faith is shaking"

Faith in what, you may ask? Well this is, of course, never elaborated on. This is that Hollywood "faith" you have to keep in order to be successful. You need to have "faith". "Faith" in what? Doesn't matter, just "faith". Scientology? Yep, that works. Yourself? We'll make a hit movie of your life story. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sure, you can found a religion around them. Christianity? Eh, that might be considered politically incorrect.

Yeah, I went there.

"But I/Gotta keep tryin'/Gotta keep my head held high"

Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline! One swing ahead of the sword! I steal, only what I can't afford! (That's everything)

I'm only kidding of course, that song is MUCH better than this one.

"There's always gonna be another mountain/I'm always gonna wanna make it move/It's always gonna be an uphill battle/Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose"

Bored yet? Me too. Moving on.

"Ain't about how fast I get there/Ain't about what's waiting on the other side/It's the climb"

That's a load of crap and you know it Miley. Sometimes it absolutely IS about the destination and not the journey. Sometimes we DON'T climb mountains for the sake of the climb. How about the cure for cancer? Huh? Are we climbing THAT PARTICULAR mountain for the sake of the climb? No. WE'RE CLIMBING IT TO CURE CANCER.

Yes, it's a lovely notion, but it doesn't always apply. In fact, it USUALLY doesn't apply. And it's a sentiment we've heard, oh, eight million times before? Seriously, have a little originality. Please.

"The struggles I'm facing/The chances I'm taking/Sometimes might knock me down but/No I'm not breaking"

It's here one of the problems I have with the song comes into play, and honestly this is more HER than the lyrics themselves, but it is somewhat a problem with the lyrics. This song is missing the essential ingredient to a motivational song.

Think of some good motivational songs. What popped into your mind? "Eye of the Tiger"
? "We Are The Champions", maybe? Heck, even bad motivational songs like "Never Say Never" have this quality.

Determination. When you hear "Eye of the Tiger" you dang well know you can achieve anything, because with enough determination there is no goal you can't reach. You WILL rise up, you WILL become the champion, because you ARE the champion. No one's going to stop you, and anyone who tries is going to be mowed down.

Miley, and her lyrics, seem to lack any sort of determination to me. And it shows. With slightly better lyrics, and a more determined sound to her, this song could be salvageable. As it is? It's boring.

Even the lines that attempt determination, like this one, reek more of a plea for reassurance. "I'm not breaking. Right? RIGHT?"

Maybe it's me, but this song seems more DE-motivational than anything.

"I may not know it/But these are the moments that/I'm gonna remember most yeah/Just gotta keep going"

Yes, but will you remember these supposed hardships fondly? Probably not.

Also, she's yet to tell us any kind of hardship she's gone through other than her feeling demotivated. Why? As far as we know, chronic depression. I'm just sayin'!

"And I/Gotta be strong/Just keep pushing on"

Oh boy here's the chorus again.

"'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain/Always gonna want to make it move/Always gonna be an uphill battle/Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose"

SEE?! You see?! "Eye of the Tiger" wouldn't say you should accept losing! It would say you should mow down your obstacles and take any hits in stride! (By the way, I consider "Eye of the Tiger" the definitive motivational song, in case it doesn't show.)

Seriously, I compare a REAL motivational song like "Eye of the Tiger" to this... From the very first note of "Eye of the Tiger" you feel motivated. From the very first WORD you KNOW you can do WHATEVER it is you need to. That was my song of choice last November during NaNoWriMo and it will remain so next year. And some of you may be saying that it's unfair to compare "Eye of the Tiger" to "The Climb". That one is a classic, and the other is a bland pop song, but y'know what? I don't accept that! Miley Cyrus clearly wrote this as a motivational song in the same vein as "Eye of the Tiger" and, in my opinion, all motivational songs should at least be able to have that very basic determination which "The Climb" is oh so lacking in.

That's why I didn't mention this in "Never Say Never". I don't like that song, but at least Justin Bieber sounded determined in it. He sounded like he was going to overcome whatever was thrown at him. Miley Cyrus, in this song, just sounds kind of apathetic. She sounds like "Yeah, bad stuff is going to happen. I accept that, I'll get through ok. Probably." Whereas a GOOD motivational song says "Bad stuff might happen, but if it does I will MOW IT DOWN, KICK IT IN THE FACE, SPIT ON IT, AND PASS IT BY TO GET TO MY GOAL."

"Ain't about how fast I get there/Ain't about what's waiting on the other side/It's the climb"

You know what I hear when this song is playing? I hear,

"This song is so very generic/I really can't make myself give a crap/It's so bland!"

Seriously. There is nothing original about this song. This song adds NOTHING new. This song is boring, generic, and has no reason to exist.

The rest of the song (A minute more, no less) is just chorus. I can't SAY anything else about it. It's just... Bland! There's nothing to say! Nothing!

And that's The Climb really. It's bland, and there's very little to say about it. At least some songs by, say, Justin Bieber try to do something interesting. They fail, but at least they try! This song is just... Boring. Boring boring boring.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to "Eye of the Tiger".


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