An Alternate Character Interpretation of Dr. Horrible

*Note: The following contains heavy spoilers for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I strongly suggest you see it first, before reading this post. The Three Act musical runs at about 45 mintues long, and can be found by dubious means on youtube, can be streamed on netflix, or purchased on iTunes or Amazon. It has not been rated, but would likely earn around a PG rating. It contains mild language and some crude humor.*

*Note 2: I don't actually think this was the intent behind the plot of Dr. Horrible, nor behind the characters within it. I merely offer it as an Alternate Character Interpretation.*

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. A fun, if ultimately... Strange... Musical.

I love Dr. Horrible. The characters, the actors, the songs, the humor, everything about this show is just FUN.

But recently, I was listening to "On The Rise" and I noticed something. It was if something clicked in my head ever so suddenly. Now, I don't know if Joss Whedon intended this, but... I find this amusing. This alternate character interpretation. Honestly, this is probably just me reading to much into it, but other people online seem to have similar theories to mine, I've found.

What is this theory? My theory is an alternate character interpretation of Dr. Horrible, which harshly changes the tone of the musical. What is this theory exactly? Well, this theory is that there is no Dr. Horrible. There is only Billy, a sad schizophrenic man who has created an alter ego, Dr. Horrible. By realizing this, it brings a strange new change.

Dr. Horrible

Let's start at the beginning. What is Dr. Horrible? Dr. Horrible, as I said, is Billy's alter ego, his second persona which he slips into, protected from the harsh realities of his sad world. You see, Billy (Neil Patrick Harris) is a schizophrenic. He doesn't have multiple personality disorder persay, but he does have an alternate persona, Dr. Horrible, which he is aware of. He sees the world not as it is, but as he imagines it to be. With heroes and villains, and superpowers and fantastical things happening everywhere.

However, Billy, while aware that he has multiple personas (persona? Personi? I don't know.), neither fully realizes, nor is fully oblivious to the nature of how he sees the world. Thus, unable to cope with the way he sees reality fully by himself, he creates his blog, able to vent the way he sees the world through this blog, on the internet. Thus, any scene of him speaking to the camera, is actually happening.

Now, let's start with laundry day.


"My Freeze Ray"




This is setting up the way he feels about Penny (played by Felicia Day) who he has noticed at the laundromat before. Now, in the context of the musical it's of course, simply setting things up, that he has a crush on her, but... What if it's more than just a simple crush? What if Billy is fixated with her. Stalking her, without her knowledge. He does say at one point that he knows her exact laundry schedule. Takes on a frightening new light doesn't it?

Overall though, the "Freeze Ray" concept, shows that at this point he's still mostly harmless. He's not fully sane, but he's also not dangerous. He doesn't want to kill people, he doesn't even really want to steal money (as evidenced by the intro "It's not about making money, it's about taking money!") he just wants Penny, and he wants more people to see the world as he sees it, chaotically.

Bad Horse and the Evil League of Evil

Bad Horse and Evil League of Evil serve two purposes. The first is to establish something that Billy must strive for. Billy wants to bring chaos to the world, as he views that, in his madness, as the only way to fix the world. To "cut off the head of the fish" as he says, bringing chaos to the world, so it can regrow stronger. "Joining the league" is his goal, his mile marker, for having reached this goal.



The other, is to establish that, while Billy considers himself "Evil" he still feels he's not totally gone. That he's still on the edge between evil, and good. He still feels that he can be saved from his evil, and thus his madness. His blog is one way of him trying to explain this to the world. Trying to establish that he still feels he can be redeemed.

Captain Hammer and "A Man's Gotta Do"

Immediately before "My Freeze Ray" Dr. Horrible is answering e-mails. He mentions Captain Hammer, who will of course, be extremely important to later on. However, what is important here, is that he calls Captain Hammer his "Nemesis". This establishes past history between the two of them. You see, I think Captain Hammer is a fabrication created by Billy's schizophrenia.

What if Captain Hammer (played by Nathan Fillion... Wow, this cast is so good. My favorite actor, and my favorite actress in the same thing... Sigh... Ok back on topic.) was a jock who went to school with Billy? Always getting the girls, while Billy stood in the back of the class, a nerd, an outcast, and a loner. I doubt Hammer was even what would be called a bully. He was simply popular. And Billy hated him for that, enough that he wouldn't have forgotten about him, and would still consider Hammer his "Nemesis" after high school, and college.

Thus, "Captain Hammer" is not a real person, but a persona that Billy has created, representing everything that stands in his way. Everything he hates. Everything he views as wrong.

You see, Captain Hammer is a jerk in this. Comically so. And while I do think part of that is simply his personality, I also think a lot of it is Billy seeing Hammer how he wants to see Hammer. For example, while Hammer may have pushed him around a bit in school, I don't think he hated Billy. But I doubt that they have even seen each other in years. Not, at least, until "A Man's Gotta Do".



Billy is stealing a truck, likely one containing money, or something like it. He's being chased by the police, who he interprets as "Captain Hammer" viewing anyone who tries to stop him as his nemesis.

And then he sees Penny. Driving at high speeds, he almost hits Penny. He slows, almost caught by the police, but can't slow fast enough while pursued. He certainly would have hit her, if the real Hammer hadn't have been there. Just by crazy random happenstance, the actual Hammer pushes her out of the way.

He pushes her into the garbage, saving her life. And all Billy sees is the way he pushes them together, as he drives away, escaping the police, and slipping away quietly.

"On The Rise"



Billy is being torn up inside, after not only seeing Hammer (the real Hammer, for the rest of this I'll refer to the real Hammer as just "Hammer" while referring to Billy's imaginary nemesis as "Captain Hammer") for the first time in years, but pushing her and Penny together. He's in full on stalker mode now, as he shadows Penny and Hammer on their first date. I mean, tell me you don't get chills as you see him appear in the background at the shelter. He's insane. He's angry. And he's slowly becoming more dangerous.

The next day, he returns to his home, only to find the police there. They've found him, the thief who stole the weapons/money/whatever. They recognize him, and chase him, but he, once again, manages to slip away.

Again, in his mind, he sees it as Captain Hammer coming after him, attacking him, for using a "freeze ray" on the mayor. By this time he's realized that stealing things isn't enough chaos to bring to the world any more. There's only one thing he can do now. Only one thing, he views as "enough".



Notice the change in background from the first blog entry we see, to now. Implying he's relocated, perhaps after fleeing from the police.

In any case, he realizes now, that the only way to enter into the league (to bring chaos to those around him) is to kill. But at the same time, he struggles with the morality of killing. Remember, at this time, he's still harmless enough, never meaning to hurt anyone until now.

"Story of a Girl"/"Brand New Day"

The next day he goes to the Laundromat, and actually manages to talk to Penny, who's of course unaware of his status as an outlaw. As he talks to her, she tells him about her date with Hammer. She also tells him about the homeless shelter Hammer is helping fund, being wealthy himself. (Perhaps he opened a large chain of hardware stores, making large sums of money. That would explain the "Hammer" persona Billy invented for him.) He's enraged by this, but hides it from her. She tells him a bit about her life, and how she really likes her new boyfriend, Hammer.



And then Hammer himself comes in. Billy tries to slip away ("OH LOOK AT MY WRIST! I gotta go!") but Hammer realizes that it's Billy, someone he once knew.

I don't know what he said here. Hammer, although I truly believe he liked Penny greatly at this point, must have said something to Billy. Perhaps it was a comment about how "hot" Penny was. I don't know exactly what, but whatever it was Billy found it disrespectful. This is represented by the "And these... Are not the Hammer" line... And the following line... Yeah. You know the one I'm talking about. In any case, this finally pushes Billy over the edge. Billy finally slips into his Dr. Horrible persona fully, both in real life, and on his blog, letting it sink in.



He's going to kill Hammer. Penny will understand why, he tells himself. She'll understand he's doing it because Hammer doesn't respect her.

"So They Say"

The new homeless Shelter is featured on the news, and brings hope to many people, as Penny contemplates whether she may have found "the one". Note that the more obscene and absurd lines Hammer has in the 3rd act, as opposed to the less absurd (although still ridiculous) ones in the first and second act, are representative of Billy's descent into madness worsening, as he is now merging not only the personalities of himself and "Dr. Horrible", but of Hammer, and Captain Hammer.

Meanwhile, Billy/Dr. Horrible realizes that the opening of the homeless shelter is his opportunity. Hammer, funding it, will be giving a short speech at the opening. It will have a crowd, and it will be the perfect place for him to strike.

Moist (his roommate) tries to call him, worried about him, but Billy/Dr. Horrible ignores it. He manages to obtain a gun. And he heads to the crowd for the opening of the Homeless shelter.

"Everyone's A Hero"/"Slipping"



As Billy/Dr. Horrible watches the speech Hammer gives to the crowd. The ridiculous lines Captain Hammer is now saying have reached their peak, as Billy has now completely merged the persona's of Hammer and Captain Hammer. The lyrics of "Everyone's A Hero" represent both the merging of Hammer and Captain Hammer, and that Billy wonders, inside, if he's really past the point of no return. He isn't. But unfortunately, he's too fueled by anger and hate to leave the path he's on.



Dr. Horrible shoots Hammer. He tells no one to move as he walks around and monologues like a crazy man. He slowly walks toward Hammer. He looks around, not seeing Penny. She's hiding. She realizes what Dr. Horrible is about to do though, and runs up in front of Hammer before Billy kills him. This is what Captain Hammer standing now represents, is Penny's defense of Hammer. (Remember, Captain Hammer represents whatever gets in his way.) He now splits Penny into two Personas. Penny, and Captain Hammer. Penny is everything he loves. Captain Hammer is everything he hates.



Confused and angered, he shoots Penny (the real one).

Penny (both real, and the persona) die. Captain Hammer, however, lives, as now matter what he does, there will always be things to get in his way. Hammer too, lives (now needing severe therapy after seeing his old schoolmate kill his girlfriend, for trying to talk Dr. Horrible down.)

"Everything You Ever"



After killing Penny, he does in fact cause a lot of fear and chaos. In his mind, "[His] victory's complete". Billy, seeing Penny dead, realizes what he's done, but of course blames it in his mind as Captain Hammer's doing. You see, the moment Penny resisted him, getting in his way, she became representative of Captain Hammer. Thus when Billy shot HER, it was really (in his mind) Captain Hammer shooting Penny. Captain Hammer killing Penny. Thus he collapses, and mourns her. In his mind he has now achieved it. He has now joined the Evil League of Evil, both because he became what he truly feels is the worst he could be, what he feels is truly "evil" and because he caused enough chaos to have reached his goal. He is now irredeemable, he feels, after having killed Penny.

The police come and arrest him, but he simply revels in his victory. He's taken to an insane asylum, being truly crazy. In his mind though, he's taken to the league, and parties with them, reveling in his achievement. He did it. He got everything he ever wanted. Now the nightmare's real. Now he is truly Dr. Horrible. In his mind, there is no longer a Billy, there is only Dr. Horrible, who is now represented in a red costume. And yet before the credits roll, for just one second, we see Dr. Horrible in his old costume, talking into the camera, on his blog, tears streaming down his face.

There is, perhaps, some ounce of humanity left in Dr. Horrible. Some trace of Billy.

Music

Let me answer a question that I'm quite sure no one asked. I review and comment on a lot of movies, a lot of video games, a lot of TV shows, and I comment (albeit less frequently) on books and comics/graphic novels. That's really what makes up the majority of this blog. You may notice, and may (but probably don't) wonder why that list doesn't include music?

Simple... I'm really not qualified to talk about music. I... Really just don't get as passionate about music as I do about other mediums. It's not that I think it lesser, quite the contrary, I think music is a beautiful medium which, artistically, is every bit as great as books, films, or video games. (And yes I will put video games on par with the rest as an artistic medium.)

Now, don't get me wrong, there's a lot of music that I hate. I hate Justin Bieber, the untalented hack, I despise country music with very VERY few exceptions, and I don't like rap or R&B. It's just... Not my thing.

But I mean, you won't see me reviewing the latest hit single because of two main reasons.

1. I have absolutely no musical talent. Seriously. I don't play an instrument, my singing voice is... Well it's not ear bleedingly bad, but I'm not going to become a breakout music star any time soon. And I literally know next to nothing about how music is written.

2. I'm simply not qualified to talk about music because of my lack of knowledge on the subject. Now, with movies or film, I may have some... Different opinions than the majority, but I know what I'm talking about. I do reading, and I spend a LOT of my time watching films, or playing games. I know the terminology behind it. I understand game mechanics, and can identify storytelling tropes. I've listened to countless commentaries for films. I'm not the worlds greatest expert on these things, but I know what I'm talking about when it comes to storytelling, movies, games, special effects... That's not the case with music. I don't know that much about music. I don't listen to the radio, I don't pay ANY attention to what albums are being released and when, I don't know who the new big sensation is... In fact if you were to ask me to name any of the top twenty songs right now, I couldn't name a single one. I listen to music, sure, but... A pretty small selection.

I mean... I know who Lady Gaga is, I know who Ke$ha is, I unfortunately know who Justin Bieber is... But I don't own a single song released by any of them. Which, y'know, is probably not a bad thing in at least two of those cases. (I'll let you decide which two I'm talking about.)

That said, what do I like? Well, that's a tough question, because there's a lot of varying things I like, and they... Really aren't connected. But I suppose I should start with my very favorite band.

Five Iron Frenzy



Five Iron Frenzy was a Christian Ska/Rock band which was formed in the late nineties and saw moderate, yet niche success until they broke up in 2004. I only actually learned about them a couple years ago, long after they had been broken up, and then of course immediately bought every CD they had ever released with the exception of a few live ones, because they were FREAKING AWESOME.



Seriously, this band could not be any better, their songs ranging from humorous songs like "The Untimely Death of Brad", (Created after a rumor of the death of one of the members of the band spread across the internet like wildfire. He was alive, for the record, and the rumor started after he missed a concert due to equipment malfunction or some such.) to "Blue Mix" a song which called out the hypocrisy in the Christian music industry, to straight Christian songs like "Far Far Away". Which, by the way, is also AWESOME, like pretty much every song they have.



Due to the nature of the band, with many songs being completely unrelated to their faith, they saw success, albeit only moderate, among both Christian and Secular audiences. Because they were awesome. Seriously. Go look them up. Now.

Parodies. Lots and lots of parodies.

Ok, I LOVE parodies. If done right, they can be hilarious.



If done wrong, they can be awful of course... But if done right, they can be so good!

JoCo

The man wrote Still Alive, Ikea, Dance Soterios Johnson, and Re: Your Brains. He's a freaking genius. Oh, and his 3 and a half minute song about a Vampire manages to convey a better, more interesting story, and create more interesting characters, than the entirety of the Twilight series.



He's a freaking. Genius. There is nothing more to be said about him. Go look up almost any of his songs, The Presidents, Skullcrusher Mountain, Mandlebrot Set (harsh language, just warning you), Chiron Beta Prime, any of the ones I mentioned above, Furry Ol' Lobster... They're great.

Musicals

I covered musicals I love last year, but here's one more to add to the list. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. SERIOUSLY. BEST MUSICAL EPISODE EVER.





Probably my second favorite episode of the series, next to Hush. (Interestingly enough the one where there's hardly any speech at all.)


Pomplamoose

Pomplamoose I'm mainly mentioning here because of the style of their music videos, which I'll talk about in a moment. They're a group (two people) that mainly do covers of other songs, with some original work mixed in. The covers are great, but what is really interesting is the fact that the videos, instead of showing mostly random images, show the instruments being played, and the singer... Well... Singing...

Everything which is played in the song is at some point seen onscreen. It's very cool to see, and the music is good.

Of course there's a lot of other groups and such which I quite like, but this was just a small list of examples.

New Year, New Layout, Same Sarcastic Writer

If you're reading this, chances are you've noticed a few changes to the layout of my blog. And by "few" I mean complete redesign. I thought I'd say a few words about it.

You see, mid December marked the first anniversary of this blog, and... Well, I've kind of had the same layout for the past year. And let's face it, that layout wasn't very good. It wasn't eye-meltingly bad, but it certainly had a lot of flaws. The color scheme was blah, the sidebars were functional but hardly exciting, and... Well... It was not very nice to look at!

So I decided to create a new layout with the new year. It's still a work in progress, and more changes may be coming later on depending on whether or not I decide to do them, but hey, it's certainly better than it was.

Also, about the header: The drawing in it (Batman and Portal, two of my favorite things), as well as my new "about me" picture, are drawings done by myself, and inked and colorized using Gimp. Yes, I kind of suck. Get over it. I'll post the images here real quick, in case anyone cares enough to see the full things.





(YES I KNOW THE CAPE DISAPPEARS BEHIND HIM GAH)

Video Game Review - Fallout: New Vegas

Fallout: New Vegas is a game created by Obsidian Entertainment. It's not, as you may think, by Bethesda Softworks, creators of Fallout 3, as they licensed it to Obsidian, a company which makes sequels for other companies. It was made as a... Well, it's not exactly a sequel to Fallout 3... In fact, from what I understand it's more of a "real" continuation of the story of Fallout 1 and 2 than Fallout 3 was. You see the original two Fallout games were set in California. There was a deep universe set up, many creatures and characters were introduced, and then in Fallout 3... All of them were scrapped. Well, ok, most of them.

You see, Fallout and Fallout 2 were set in the Core Region, which was most of California, with bits of Nevada included. 3 took place in the Capital Wasteland, the decimated ruins of Washington D.C. While Fallout 3 is fantastic, it included a mostly separated storyline from the rest of the series. Even the Super Mutants, a staple of the Fallout series, are different from the ones you encounter in 1 and 2.

Now, I haven't actually played Fallout or Fallout 2. However, from what I've heard, New Vegas is much closer a sequel (story wise) to Fallout and Fallout 2 than Fallout 3 was. In any case, as one might expect, Fallout: New Vegas takes place in (surprise!) VEGAS! ...Well, in and around Vegas, that is. New Vegas itself is such a small portion of the Mojave Wasteland, that the rest kind of dwarfs it.

Now, I'm in a unique position to talk about this game, as I actually used to live in Vegas. And I can tell you, they did extraordinarily well. For example, they easily could have gotten away with merely recreating the Strip, and calling it New Vegas, however they did not. They recreated VEGAS, and it's surroundings.

The Strip itself is, of course, there, as well as Fremont Street, which has now become "Freeside", the slums of New Vegas, accessible to anyone, not just those with lots of caps. In fact, it takes around 2000 caps just to get INTO New Vegas proper.

Outside of New Vegas though there's still a LOT of faithfully recreated landmarks. Redrock is still in the game, as are landmarks like Mt. Charleston, Lake Mead, The Hoover Dam... Heck, they've even got that huge soda bottle right off of the Strip, now though, instead of being Coke, it's "Sunset Sasparilla". And each famous landmark has a "Snowglobe" related to it, which can be picked up and sold to a certain eccentric person.

But a faithful recreation of Vegas does not, on it's own, a good game make. So, while the game is certainly a good recreation of Vegas, how is the gameplay, one might ask. Well let me put it this way: Did you like Fallout 3? Because this is... Reeeeeeally similar.

Seriously, at first glance, you may not even be able to tell the difference. You see, it's a first person shooter, like Fallout 3, it has various types of guns, various varieties of enemies, and of course V.A.T.S., the auto targeting system, makes a return from Fallout 3.

However, there are a number of changes which have been made to the gameplay. Most are minor enough that you wouldn't notice them at first glance, but do alter gameplay quite a bit. The first, and likely what many will find to be the most major, is the complete disappearance of the Big Guns skill from Fallout 3. Any weapons which were considered Big Guns have been transferred to other archetypes, for example, Miniguns have been folded into the Guns skill, Missile Launchers and the Fat-Man into the Explosives skill, Flamers have (somewhat strangely) become Energy Weapons... And so on. In place of the Big Guns skill is "Survival", a new skill which has two uses. It increases the health you gain from food (something which will come in quite handy, especially in Hardcore mode, which I'll get into later.) and it allows you to cook more recipes out of various gathered plants, similar to the way Alchemy worked in Oblivion.

An absolutely massive change is the fact that you now only get perks every even numbered level, instead of every level. Personally, though I did a complete playthrough of the game with no mods installed, on my second playthrough I've chosen to install a mod to allow me to get perks on every level once again.

Another large change is that many new types and variations of ammo have been introduced, not only with tons of new varieties, but also with Armor Piercing and Anti Personnel versions of each type. Also, many things which were common in Fallout 3, have become much more scarce in New Vegas, such as Frag Grenades. While Frag Grenades are more uncommon than they used to be new types of explosives have been introduced, such as Dynamite, which works similarly to Grenades, and C4, which can be placed and later detonated at a time of your choosing with a detonator.



Other small changes are things like, for example, the way Speech checks (and Barter checks, and Intelligence checks, and Perception checks, and Luck checks...) work. In Fallout 3, your odds of success would get higher the higher your speech skill was. In this, you either have enough points, or don't. You either have a 100% chance to succeed, or a 0% chance to. It will tell you what your speech skill should be, and if it's that high, great, if not, better find a new way to get what you're looking for. (Perhaps violence. Violence usually works well.)

However, while the gameplay is very similar, the games couldn't feel more different.

You see, the settings are radically different. The best way I can think of to put it is this:

Fallout 3 is a tale of urban survival.
Fallout: New Vegas is a western.

You see, the Capital Wasteland was an area with no government. Complete and total chaos. Utter anarchy. It had been rocked by the nukes, and was still devastated, the air tinged green, and everything completely tainted by radiation.

The Mojave Wasteland, however, first of all, was not hit by the nukes directly. This shows as very few areas have radiation, and rads become pretty much a non-issue for most of the game, with a few exceptions. The Mojave Wasteland also has a government in the form of the New California Republic, but that "government" is very loose as you're at the complete border of their reach... Much like the 19th century American west. Thus, in many areas small settlements will rely completely on local law enforcement... Again, much like the setting of many classic western films. Almost every aspect of the game reflects this.



Heck, even the beginning of the game feels like the start of an old western movie, with your character, "The Courier" being shot in the head and left to die in a shallow grave.

The exceptions to the game having the feel of a western are mostly in the small area of The Strip and it's surroundings, which feel more like an old black and white mobster movie.

But make no mistake, New Vegas is a western. There are Cowboys (heck, there's a perk called "Cowboy"), tribes, vicious untamed wild creatures, outlaws and sheriffs. It's a western set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but a western nonetheless. This setting shines through, and works fantastically well.

Of course one of the most critically acclaimed features of Fallout 3 returns in the form of RADIO STATIONS! This time there are 3 radio stations which can be tuned into, one of which can only be tuned into if you're within a short distance of "Black Mountain".

The first, and the one you'll likely spend the most time listening to is "Radio New Vegas" hosted by Mr. New Vegas. This is the equivalent of GNR in Fallout 3. Mr. New Vegas himself is a smooth talking radio host, who though lacking the energy of "THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DOG!" is nonetheless a great host for the station. His smooth voice will announce many things, although in a sharp contrast to Three Dog, his news items rarely mention The Courier, although they will at time mention his accomplishments, if not directly.

The second station, accessible only when in close proximity to "Black Mountain" is "Black Mountain Radio". Playing across BMR is the talk show "Best Friend Tabitha" hosted by Rhonda, and Tabitha, an insane Nightkin. (Think crazier supermutants. Also, blue.) Best Friend Tabitha hosts various segments like "Know Your Mutant", which describes various mutants. It's pretty amusing, not gonna lie.

The third, a welcome addition, is "Mojave Music Radio" which is all music, all the time. No talk show at all.

The songs played on the station are, as with Fallout 3, 50's and 60's music, and great. Personally, I found the best two songs to be "Ain't That A Kick In the Head"...



And "Big Iron"...



... I told you it was a western. Personally, I usually don't like that kind of music, but here it really worked, fitting the theme really well, although the other country songs in this certainly took it overboard...



Ugh.

In any case, the radio stations are, again, a great addition.

The story of Fallout: New Vegas, I found to be absolutely amazing. I won't spoil too much of it for you, but it takes you all over the place, and I found it to be more compelling and interesting than that of Fallout 3, which I also really liked. The writing is superb, and even (especially, in fact) outside of the main storyline this game contains some of the GREATEST storytelling I've ever seen in a game. Heck, I could do a whole blog post on Vault 11 alone. (Foreshadowing!)

And in addition to the storyline itself, the various factions and companions you meet along the way also change the storyline, along with having storylines of their own, although the fact that you cannot continue after the ending (until the inevitable DLC to come in the future) is a weak point.

Speaking of companions, the companions have been VASTLY improved upon from Fallout 3. Now not only can you more easily command and heal them, you can change and improve their gear. And each of them, as I said, has their own storyline and quest you can do for them. There are various ones, you can have up to two (one humanoid, one non humanoid) at a time, and they vary from a sniper to a cyborg dog... And of course my personal favorite, Veronica, a Brotherhood of Steel scribe voiced by Felicia Day.



Oh yeah.

Their very powerful, and (unless in hardcore mode) they can't die, only fall unconscious.

Personally though, one of my favorite additions to the game is Hardcore Mode, and optional setting which makes the game harder. I spoke about it previously, and about what it does, but in short, it makes various changes to gameplay mechanics which make the game more difficult, and I'd argue more fun. You can find the specifics in the game or online, but since rads aren't much of an issue in this, I'd say turn it on just for the extra meters to watch alone.

Now, the big dark spot of this game, and honestly one of it's only flaws, is that it's absurdly buggy. I spoke of this previously too, and most of the MAJOR bugs have been fixed by now, but you may still want to wait a month or so from the time of writing to get it if you're debating still.

In short, Fallout: New Vegas is a fantastic game.

Buy this game if: You like westerns, Fallout 3, RPGs, or great storytelling.

Don't buy this game if: You're squeamish. Like Fallout 3, this game is ABSURDLY gory.

This review was based on my experiences after around 55 hours of play time. I completed one full playthrough of the game on hardcore mode where I capped at level 30 before finishing. I got the NCR ending, and was considered "Very Good" karma. My character specialized in sneak, guns (mainly pistols and revolvers), lockpicking, speech, and barter mainly. The companions I mainly used were Veronica (duh, Felicia Day, c'mon) and E-DE, occasionally switching out Veronica for Cass towards the end of my playthrough. I had achieved 29/50 Steam achievements upon completion.

The Problem With Fallout: New Vegas

Although I haven't done a formal review of Fallout: New Vegas, I touched on the game during "The First Annual Wherein I Rant Awards", and called it a fantastic game, with superb writing, gameplay, and one of the best example of storytelling in games I've ever seen, and make no mistake, I would easily hold Fallout: New Vegas storytelling up there with Half-Life 2's, or dare I even say it, Portal's.

But, I did mention one enormous flaw with the game. Something which, even though it's a fantastic game, made me bump it down from my Game of the Year, down to runner up.

So what was the flaw so blatantly obvious that it would knock down such a fantastic game to a mere second place? Simple. It wasn't finished yet.

You see, Fallout: New Vegas is buggy. Really, really buggy. The game, while fantastic, simply should not have been released so soon. In fact, I bought the game over a month after it's release, and still found it plagued with game breaking glitches. Random crashes, companions would stop following, character clipping through the floor, and one (rather amusing) bug where characters (hostile or not) would stand in the nearest corner as though they were put in a time out.

You might think I'm exaggerating here, but I'm not. On multiple occasions, I found fights incredibly easy because the enemy was completely stuck, knees down, clipped into the ground, unanble to move. That's pretty game breaking.

Now, I by no means expect a game to be perfectly coded when I buy it. One thing you simply have to live with when you're buying a product like a game, ESPECIALLY a game like Fallout: New Vegas, which is absolutely massive, is that the game will have bugs. The code is just too massive, and it just wouldn't be feasible, economically or rationally, to expect a perfectly bug free code. HOWEVER, what you can expect is for GAME BREAKING bugs to be fixed.

You see, I spent about 50 hours on my first playthrough of Fallout: New Vegas. I noticed dozens, if not hundreds, of major bugs. Now, how long did they play test the game for bugs to not notice these? I have to imagine they couldn't have gotten all that far without noticing these bugs.

So either: A. They didn't properly playtest their own product, playing it for a grand total of less that 50 hours before releasing it to hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people, or B. They DID know this game was unfinished and buggy, and chose to release it anyway.

Either of these options are simply not ok. You see, either way it says to me they didn't care about their own product enough to polish it before finishing it.

But is this an isolated case? Is this simply one game company, Obsidian (who aren't exactly well known for releasing flawless products...) releasing a game sooner than they should? Or is this a shocking trend, one which absolutely should not continue?

Unfortunately, I'm inclined to say it's becoming quite the trend. Not, perhaps, as obvious as Fallout: New Vegas, but still quite bad. Take, for example, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed.

Now, let me begin by explaining that, although most movie games are shovelware, Star Wars is the exception to that rule. While there certainly ARE Star Wars shovelware games, Knights of the Old Republic, Battlefront and Battlefront 2, Lego Star Wars... These are all good games. In fact, KOTOR has writing which I would hold up to any of the movies. I mean, KOTOR gave us HK-47, and if you don't find HK-47 funny, you're clearly not a meatbag- Sorry, I mean a Human.

In any case, TFU is not shovelware. It's a good game, perhaps not a great game, but a good game nonetheless. It put you in the shoes of the secret apprentice of Darth Vader, trained to kill the emperor, and gave you ABSURD force powers. You could force lightning, you could pick guys up and throw them out into space, you could disintegrate stormtroopers, you could pick enemies up and throw them at each other... It was awesome.

When it was released though, it wasn't exactly... Well it was pretty darn buggy. For example, during the final boss fight? I force pushed the final boss, and he fell behind some rubble, completely unable to move for the rest of the fight. He would stand up, and play a walking animation... But no movement.

That's, again, a pretty game breaking bug. Now, while it's certainly not as obvious as some bugs in Fallout: New Vegas, it still makes me wonder how much bug testing they must have done. I'm inclined to believe it wasn't much.

But why would companies release unfinished products? Certainly long term sales would be exceptionally low for a fundamentally broken product? Well, the answer is quite simple: Patch it later.

You see, patches were not available in the days of the NES, SNES, N64/PS, and even the Gamecube/PS2/Xbox. Patches are bug fixes or additions to a game (or other software product, but for this context we're using the term for games) which is sent out by the company later, and downloaded by the computer or console. Back before all the consoles had an easy internet connection, if you wanted to make a change, you'd have to change the code on the next edition of cartridges. Nothing could be done about the copies already out there.

For example, let's take for example, one of the greatest games of all time, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, for the N64. True geeks like me will already likely know the story I'm about to bring up, but for the sake of the masses, let me tell you the story of the gold cartridge.

You see, when OoT was originally released, it was released on a golden cartridge. No real reason why, just an aesthetic thing. However, only the first batch, if you will, the first editions, would be released on a golden cartridge.

You see, after the game was released, although it had been rated E, the players of the game noticed a few things. Namely that the final cutscene featured the final boss being stabbed in the head, and (red) blood, spewing across the screen. However, that alone was not the only thing that got the gray cartridges changed. You see the Fire Temple (one of the dungeons you adventure through late in the game) featured, in one room, islamic chanting in the background music. Something which met with the attention of extremist groups.

Keep in mind this was in the 90s, pre-9/11, and had it been post 9/11 it likely never would have made the cut, however, it was pushed through, and met certain Nintendo employees with death threats.

As such, in the next release, the gray cartridge, the chanting was removed, and the blood was changed to a yellowish green color. However, nothing could be done about the first batch of cartridges, and to this day golden OoT cartridges remain a collectors item.

Now, this may not be the best example, as those things weren't exactly "bug fixes" but I imagine you get the idea. You see, today those things would simply be patched.

Now, patches are by no mean a bad thing. They're a great thing in fact! However, they're only great when used properly. You see, many companies have used the existence of patches as an excuse for releasing unfinished products.

For example? Well, Fallout: New Vegas. Which has already gotten several patches that have fixed major problems. Thus, those who bought it on release were essentially paying $50 to $60, to test an unfinished product, something which Obsidian should have done in the first place.

These paid betas... Are simply unacceptable. Thus, Fallout: New Vegas biggest flaw. It could have been a real candidate for Game of the Year 2011, unfortunately, it was released in 2010.

The First Annual Wherein I Rant Awards - 2010

Well the year is drawing to a close. And you know what that means? Every site on the internet is doing "of the year" awards. So why not join in the fun? I present to you, the first annual Wherein I Rant Awards.

Video Games

Best Indie Game of the Year - Super Meat Boy

Super Meat Boy is so good I can't even explain why it's so good. By all accounts it doesn't seem like it would be any good at all, at first glance. A game which prides itself on being unfairly difficult? Where's the fun in that? But it is. It's really fun. If you haven't played this game yet, you should.

Runner up - Beat Hazard

Beat Hazard! This game is just FUN! You see, this game is Asteroids. Oh, did I mention that instead of blips you shoot visualized light set to the music of your choice? ANY MP3 WILL WORK! It's fantastic, fun, and will probably give you a seizure.

Best Game For Under $5 - Poker Night at the Inventory

Poker Night at the Inventory is the pilot in the new "At the Inventory" series from Taletell games. It's set around a simple, yet ingenious premise. What do our favorite video game characters do in their spare time? The answer? Play lot and lots of Texas Hold 'Em apparently. For $4.99 you can get this game, 4 unlockable items in TF2, and hours of banter between the characters. It's great.

Runner up - The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom


Braid gets tons of critical acclaim for it's difficult puzzles and "great storytelling" (I use quotes because that's a load of crap, in case you were wondering.) However P.B. Winterbottom is a game that has puzzle very similar to some of those in Braid, and I heard no praise for it. It's cheap, it's fun, it has a uniquely awesome visual style, as it looks like an old silent film, and you get to steal PIE. It's pretty darn awesome.

Best FREE Game - Alien Swarm

Alien Swarm is freaking amazing. It's a completely free title released by Valve on Steam (You must have at least one game purchased on Steam in order to be eligible though. Might I suggest Poker Night or VVVVVV?) which is a remake of an old mod released on the source engine. The campaign is nice enough, and there are a ton of weapons, making a fun survival game, but Valve took it to eleven and let

Runner Up - Minecraft Classic

Minecraft is a game that popped up on EVERYONE'S radar this year. The game which is essentially the ultimate sandbox is supposedly quite good. It just entered Beta, and supposedly gets better every day. I wouldn't know. I'm too busy playing Minecraft Classic, the free (and AMAZING) version on the site.

Best Game That Went Under The Radar - The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom

P.B. Winterbottom, again is a game I heard NOTHING about until I purchased a copy on sale for 49 cents and played it. And that's disturbing since it's FREAKING AWESOME. You play P.B. Winterbottom, the dastardly pie thief. There are several things I like about this game, from the art style, as I said above, is that of an old black and white silent film, even applying film grain. The game also insults you and talks about what a horrible person you are, stealing pies. Anyways, you get time manipulation powers (sort of) and long story short, if you liked Braid, you'll like this. If you found Braid's terrible storytelling a barrier to entry, you'll love this as this is both funny and well done.

Runner Up - Worms Reloaded

I didn't hear much press or fanfare for Worms Reloaded when it was released late last august, but it's a VERY good game. It's fun, it's funny, and... Well, it's pretty darn good! The reason this is the runner up is because I at least heard VALVE mention it when they gave you a free hat in TF2 for buying it when it released. Either way, it was pretty under the radar, and I liked it.


Movies

Most Touching Movie - Toy Story 3

OH COME ON YOU KNOW YOU SAW THIS AND ALMOST CRIED

Best Adaptation - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One was a fantastic way of showing off how you should adapt something. Stay true to the core of it, but understand that some things don't translate well between mediums. Also, cut out a lot of the camping scenes. Oh good grief the camping scenes.

Best Effects - Inception

BRHAAAAAAAAAAM! Inception, like it or hate it, had brilliant effects. Between the sheer beauty of seeing the city lift up on top of itself to the low grav fight scene, Inception's effects, CGI and otherwise, were awesome.


Best Animated Movie of the Year - Toy Story 3

Toy Story 3 is, quite simply, a great end to a trilogy. Most trilogies have a weak spot in them if you look. Star Wars had Return of the Jedi, and the Ewoks, Indiana Jones had Temple of Doom, and Toy Story had nothing. Now, while I still love me some Temple of Doom and Return of the Jedi, they were weaker films. The Toy Story films, all three of them, however, are fantastic. Keeping up that trend was enough to earn this my favorite animated film of the year.

Best Animated Movie of the Year Runner Up - Tangled

I praised this movie for every aspect of it in my full review, so if you have read that and are still wondering why this is so good... Uh... l2reading comprehension bro?


Worst

Worst Game of the Year - Chime

Ok, understand that this isn't really the worst game of the year, just the worst game I played this year. Chime is a rhythm game which might be fun if it had more than 5 freaking songs on it, but as it is, was just weak all around.

Worst Adaptation - Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lighting Thief

In contrast to HP7Pt.1 Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, took everything that was fun, witty, and charming about the book series, and threw them out the window in favor of a jive talkin' black sidekick. The main character is 16, not 12, which completely throw off the ENTIRE FREAKING POINT OF THE REMAINING 4 BOOKS, every character was changed extremely (for the worse) and worst of all Kronos is hardly mentioned. Luke's motivations are not only weaker for this, they're practically nonexistant. Not to mention the romance between Percy and Annabeth is resolved in the FIRST FREAKING FILM, instead of the FIFTH. It was a movie which might have been decent if it had been titled ANYTHING else.

Worst New TV Series of the Year - The Ev3nt

I saw one episode of "The Ev3nt" after looking forward to it for MONTHS. Let me explain how bad this show is. The first episode was the perfect storm of TERRIBLE. Terrible acting, terrible EDITING, and of course dialogue which sounded like this:
"Mister President sir, should we do something about the... Event?"
"Yes, we must keep the... Event a secret."
"But sir, what if there's another... Event?"
"Then we must be careful. We can't afford to let another... Event happen."
"I don't like... Events, sir."
"Neither do I. I don't think anyone likes... Events."
"Except sir, perhaps... Event planners."

Worst Ending of the Year - Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agents is a game I got for a buck. I played it for around 4 hours. I really was enjoying it. It was like Professor Layton but... No, actually it was like Professor Layton. But that's a good thing! I had an interesting mystery surrounding a mysterious town... I was solving the puzzles... I was getting into it aaaaaaand....

Credits roll suddenly. What. Nothing answered, no resolution given to any characters... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. WHY? HOW? WHO? Are the Gnomes aliens? Monsters? Was the one guy dead or alive?! WHY WAS I SUDDENLY AT A SPACESHIP FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME?!

Screw this game, and it's ending.

Stupidest Moment of the Year -
Roger Ebert Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot

I've yelled about this enough by now that it feels pretty redundant talking about this again, but let me sum up the idiotic statement that a man named Roger Ebert made. "Games can never be art." If you need any more information than that quote, click through and read my post. Seriously. Ebert had to make a public apology. That's how bad this was.

Most Depressing Thing This Year - Stupid People Are Stupid, Complete Monsters Are Complete Monsters, -100 Faith In Humanity

I've made it FAIRLY APPARENT over the last year, since I started this blog, that I'm a big fan of games. I view them as a budding art form, am a huge advocate for games as art, and fully advocate games being treated equally to film and books, instead of the double standard that's SO apparent in the industry right now. Unfortunately, it gets pretty discouraging some times. Especially when you hear about MORONS who do absolutely HORRIBLE and UNSPEAKABLE things. Example? A few weeks ago a Korean college student died after a 12 hour marathon gaming session where he did not eat, drink, or otherwise attend to normal bodily functions. I wish I could say that this was the least depressing story this year, but unfortunately, that's the bright and sunny, happy story for this post. Take for instance this monster who commited the UNSPEAKABLE act of killing her child and leaving him on the floor for two days as she played games.

As with every year there are MANY of these stories, and no one of them can be called the "worst" as their all horrific in their own right. We have to keep in mind though that these people were obviously unstable before they began playing games, and the games are not at fault here. After all, the anti-games advocates hands aren't quite clean either. As was the case of the Korean boy killed in a Chinese "video games addiction reform boot camp".


Sigh. Stories like these keep making me lose faith in humanity


Best of the Year

Best Video Game of the Year Runner Up - Fallout: New Vegas

This is tough for me. I really do want to say this was the best game of the year. Fallout: New Vegas is a fantastic game all around. It's funny, fun, creative, and features some of the best examples of storytelling I've ever seen in a game. The gameplay is fun, and while it's essentially Fallout 3 set in Vegas, I actually like it a bit more.

Except for one thing. It's one of the buggiest games I've ever played. It absolutely should not have been released for another 3 months at least. I got it at the end of November, it had been out over a month, and it was still nearly unplayable. Random crashes, characters doing various bad things (like standing with their noses in the corner like they're in a time out) and clipping.

It's just... I can't say that it's ok for a game this buggy to be released. It's unacceptable. Game developers need to stop putting half broken games out there to be purchased. It's just not a finished game yet! The content is fantastic... When it works...

And that's what keeps me from calling it the best game of the year. That title goes to...

Best Video Game of the Year - Mass Effect 2

Another absolutely fantastic game. This is another landmark in game development. Mass Effect 2 is a great game. It has fantastic writing, fantastic characters, and is just all around fantastic. It's simply a wonderful game. Tali, Thane, Mordin... I could write entire articles on any of these characters, and why more game developers need to pay attention to their writing.

It would be very easy for Mass Effect 2 to fall victim to "middle child syndrome" as many games have, having neither a really good beginning, nor a really good ending, since it's simply a connector between the beginning of the trilogy, Mass Effect, and the smashing finale coming out next year (supposedly) Mass Effect 3. Instead though it starts by (spoiler alert I guess, although it happens in the first 5 minutes) BLOWING UP THE NORMANDY AND KILLING COMMANDER SHEPARD.

Not exactly a lackluster start. What follows is an EPIC story which took me around 30 hours to complete. And I loved every single minute of it. The characters are all fantastic, the gameplay is fantastic, and essentially they took everything that was bad about the first game, and fixed it. Then they made more fantastic characters like Thane, Legion, and Jack and... Well, it's just an AMAZING game! Seriously, if you haven't played this game yet, you're cheating yourself.

Best Movie of the Year Runner Up - Toy Story 3

Toy Story 3 is a great film. I spoke a bit about it above, but... It's really superb. I can't stress how good it is. I'm not sure if it's on DVD or not yet, but if it is and you haven't seen it, either go buy or rent it immediately. It's the perfect end to a great trilogy.

Best Movie of the Year - Inception
Inception is the latest film by Christopher Nolan, creator of The Dark Knight and Batman Begins, among other things. It's a fantastic, albeit confusing at times, film with tremendous ambiguity and many possible interpretations. Again, if you haven't seen it yet, go do so immediately.

Most Inspiring Moment Of the Year - Brian Wood Gives His Life To Save His Family

If there was one moment that could inspire faith in humanity, in the face of all the tragedies I mentioned above, it would be the story of Brian Wood, the head developer of the game Company of Heroes, who gave his life to save that of his wife and unborn child.

If you didn't follow this story as details arose last September, here's the short version. Brian Wood and his pregnant wife, Erin Wood, were out for a drive one night. Unfortunately, so was 21-year old, Jordyn Weichert. Jordyn was out driving with a few of her friends, drunk and stoned, and decided to take off her sweater, while driving. She asked her friend, Samantha Bowling, to take the wheel for a moment as she did. As she did so, she drove head on into Brian and Erin.

Had it been a head on collision for both cars, Erin and Brian both would have died. At the last moment however, Brian made a split second decision, and swerved, a decision that would save the life of Erin and his unborn child, but cost him his own.

A noble, and inspiring story, to be sure. One which wasn't quite over just yet. You see, not long after, Erin went on The Today Show with her story. (Warning: If you aren't in tears yet, watching that video will cause you to be.)

As many people saw it, either through the TV, or via sites like Kotaku, one of the main news sites reporting on the story, a memorial fund was started for Brian which raised a lot of money for Erin and her child.

Millions of users from the internet, gamers, sent kind words and condolences to Erin. Something that, for the internet, is highly unusual. Something which Erin Wood would respond to shortly after.

" Hello.

My name is Erin Wood, and I wanted to send a request to please pass along my most sincere and heartfelt thanks to the gaming community for the overwhelming support provided to me in the past two weeks. I asked coworkers of Brian how I might best send my thanks, and they recommended sending them to Kotaku - hence this email. Any way you can help share this with the community would be much appreciated.

Brian always told me about how close-knit and wonderful the video game community was, but I had no idea until this tragedy just how special a group it really is. From all the articles and comments, to the emails and donations, I am simply stunned and so touched by the love, kindness, and generosity shown to me and my family. As everyone knows, the last 10 days have been the most difficult, dark days of my life. But this journey has been eased tremendously by the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes received from friends, family, and strangers living all over the world. It is so meaningful for me to hear about how his work and enthusiasm for the industry has touched others. Brian was completely and utterly devoted to the game industry, and was pretty much living his dream every day. He woke up every morning excited to be working in such a creative, demanding field. It was such a joy to be married to someone who was absolutely passionate about his professional life.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the compassion and support. It is so http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifappreciated, and has been a light to me in this impossible situation.

Warm wishes,
Erin"

A tragedy, yet an inspiring moment to be sure. Happy New Years everyone.


UPDATE MARCH 29TH 2011: I wrote an addendum to this post, after rewatching several movies again. It can be found here.

Video Game Review - Assassin's Creed 2

Well it's about time. Ok so, recap time CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDREN! (Oh wait, wrong game.) Back in august I did a 3 part series about the original Assassin's Creed, and the major problems with it, ending with my review, where I said despite the games BLATANT problems, I still enjoyed it.

Now last month, during NaNoWriMo I finally finished Assassin's Creed 2. So did I love it? Hate it? Was I completely neutral towards it?

Well... There are a few main points I want to address here, Assassin's Creed 2 as a game, Assassin's Creed 2 as a sequel, and the ending. Now, obviously, the ending portion will be extremely spoiler filled, so I suggest you skip that if you haven't played it yet and perhaps come a read that portion of the review later. Don't worry, I'll mark exactly where that section begins and ends.


Assassin's Creed 2 as a game

Let me start by saying that at first glance Assassin's Creed 2 seems to be much better game than Assassin's Creed. This shows me a series that really learned from it's fault in the first game, simply gameplay wise, and really did improve upon them. For example, the voice acting selection was much broader, and less annoying. You still hear repeated lines, but the commonfolk aren't ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOU. Also, you can run all you want now, and people won't instantly know you're an Assassin.

There are now, instead of beggar women, minstrels who run near you and start singing until you give them coin. The only difference is this time the game ACTUALLY HAS A MONETARY SYSTEM.

The game also has a new system where you can get many kinds of weapons and armor. Unfortunately this ended up being a very shoddy and confusing "stat" system, which I never fully understood. It only irritated me. Either way, getting the best armor in the game is easy to get, and available very early on, so it doesn't really matter.

There's also, as I said, a monetary system, which allows you to upgrade your home town to make it bigger and better, and then get more money to... Well... Invest in your town! Aside from achievements and getting rid of annoying minstrels, it's pretty useless.

The combat system also got BETTER between AC and AC2. That is a relative term, however, and by no means is the combat in AC2 good. It's still tedious and frustrating, just... Less so.

Still, this is a STEALTH game, is it not?! So what's the SNEAKING like?!

...Very, very optional. And that's not a good thing.

You see, I would have liked some middle ground. In the last game, if someone sneezed three blocks away from you, every guard in the city would instantly descend upon you. It was a great example of fake difficulty.

In this one though, it's almost impossible to get caught! You see, there's a system in place where guards will basically not even look at you, unless you are "infamous". How do you gain infamy? By doing things like stealing, killing... That sort of thing. But here's the thing. You know what irritates me? In AC2 there is a way to pickpocket random NPCs walking down the street. And you know what? No matter what happens, whether you get caught or not, you gain infamy. That bugs me. The whole system is a mess. It's just... A mess.

Speaking of messes, let's talk about the story shall we? So, in case you forgot, the main character of the Assassin's Creed series is Desmond, a bartender from New York who is a descendant of a long line of Assassins, who was kidnapped and put into a machine to relive "genetic memories" to find out where a secret object was. Now, as I said, the last game didn't have an ending. Oh sure, they'd love you to believe what they gave you was a "cliffhanger" ending, but it wasn't. This was not a cliffhanger at all. This game picks up immediately from the non-ending of AC, and leads to the secret lair of the Assassin's, who are teaching Desmond to be the ultimate Assassin, using a new version of the Animus, the machine which lets you relieve genetic memories, which increases the "bleeding effect" and lets Desmond learn from what he's reliving.

Basically it's a ton of technobabble, but it's mildly coherent esq, so I'll let it slide.

Assassin's Creed 2 as a Sequel

I suppose this is spoilery... So uh... Tune out the next paragraph or so, if you don't want a spoiler. Are they gone? Ok. YOU ARE NOT AN ASSASSIN. THIS ISN'T ASSASSIN'S CREED, THIS IS RENAISSANCE BATMAN WHO KILLS PEOPLE CREED. Seriously, at no point in this game is there a real "Assassination". In the first game it was called Assassin's Creed because you were an ASSASSIN! You didn't just kill people, you hunted them. You watched their routine. You found weak points in their defense. And then? Then you stalked them. Then you followed your prey, until finally they made a mistake. And only then, would you strike. Or, you could just kill them, but that made thing much harder, and less fun. Ezio, the main character of this game, DOESN'T EVEN BECOME AN ASSASSIN UNTIL THE LAST HOUR OF THE GAME!

This is a problem, as one of my favorite bits in the first game was the assassinations. There aren't really assassinations in this one, since you AREN'T AN ASSASSIN. It just frustrates me.

You see, while this game is better, technically speaking, than Assassin's Creed was. The problem is that it's TOO radically different. You see, they pitched out a lot of systems, in favor of better ones. You no longer hold X to walk slowly and blend in, you just walk around in groups. This works a lot better. You can run instead of walk, and not get caught instantly. This works a lot better. There's fast travel. This works a lot better. The combat, while still quite broken, functions differently. This works a lot better.

The problem? There's so many changes, that at times it just feels like you're not playing Assassin's Creed. You see, I liked Assassin's Creed. And I wanted this game to be a sequel to that. And it... Aside from a story perspective, really wasn't. Mind you, the game it was is a lot better than Assassin's Creed... But in a way I still missed a lot of what made the first game fun, even though the first Assassin's Creed was... Well... Fundamentally broken.

Now, speaking as a sequel, story wise this game improved IMMENSELY upon the first. The character of Ezio is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than Blandy McGee- Sorry, Altair. The voice acting is better, the characters are more interesting and... Well, in general the game is just a LOT BETTER!

And of course, there's the ending.

Assassin's Creed 2's Ending

*Major spoilers for Assassin's Creed 2 begin here. I will mark where they end.*

WOW. WOW. JUST WOW. I finished this game over a month ago and I still can't get over the ending. Heck, I've started Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, and I STILL can't get over the ending.

So, first let's talk about the ending, the final level, from a gameplay perspective.

First of all let me just say one thing. Whoever decided it was REQUIRED to collect all the Codex pages hidden throughout the ENTIRE FREAKING GAME in order to finish should be SHOT. This is the exact same GARBAGE that angered Wind Waker players. I DON'T CARE. OK? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS UBISOFT? I DO NOT WANT TO COLLECT ALL THE DANG CODEX PAGES. YOU ARE PADDING YOUR GAME OUT BY MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR, BUT IT IS A HORRIBLE HOUR OF BOREDOM AND SPITE.

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about the last level shall we? The last level, the Vatican, is brilliant. Why is it brilliant? Because it asks you to use all of the skills you should have developed by this point in the game in order to complete it. There is an area where you can simply fight through hordes of enemies. But then, there is an area where you HAVE to use stealth. And it's awesome.

The last boss though, is pretty lame. It's basically fisticuffs with an overweight Italian man (Who just so happens to be the Pope. SPOILER ALERT!) who happens to have a magical staff. That he... Doesn't really use.

But the last boss fight is more than made up for by the absolutely awesome ending sequence. As you open the vault door, you enter into something, unsure of what you'll find. So what do you find? A message. Ezio opens the vault, and walks in, to find an ancient HOLOGRAM of the "goddess" Minerva (actually a member of "those who came before" the species that lived on Earth before mankind.) who has left a message. As she speaks, you notice that she's not looking at Ezio. She's looking at the screen. She's looking at you. Finally Ezio asks a question. He asks what she's talking about. She then looks at him angrily and says, "I wasn't talking to you! Silence!"

As she looks at the screen, explaining to you that the Earth, humanity, everything, is in terrible danger, danger that wiped out those who came before, and will wipe out humanity now. And then she says, "The rest is up to you... Desmond."

Fade to black.

Cue Desmond saying "What the ****?!"

Seriously, one of the biggest mindfreaks I've ever seen in a game. Absolutely jawdroppingly fantastic cliffhanger ending.

*Spoilers end here*

Buy this game if: You like crazy conspiracy stories, filled with nonsensical, but nonetheless fun, technobabble. If you like seeing a historically accurate reconstruction of famous cities in Italy, all against a fantastic backdrop. Oh yeah, and there's a point where you get to hug Leonardo Da Vinci. So that's awesome too.

Don't buy this game if: Clunky combat turns you off from purchasing things. The fact that the Stealth aspects of the game being very optional will irritate you. You're expecting a direct sequel to Assassin's Creed.